Dig 'em up! Obscure games that need a comeback

Everything old is new again. I like your old stuff better than your new stuff. (How much is) that doggy in the window? Wait, that third song title doesn't work quite right – it works quite left. It would seem the video game industry has reached a point in its relatively short life where 'retro' is in. Does anyone remember the 90's? That was like seventy years ago, man! Nostalgia is a powerful thing, and publishers are naturally taking advantage of this. I mean, it's now possible to walk into a typical doof doof-blaring clothing store and buy a t-shirt adorned with Pitfall! artwork and Activision's rainbow coloured logo. How cool is that? Not very cool at all, but still.

Interestingly (maybe), this generation has seen a huge boom in really obscure IP revivals. These aren't your Bubble Bobble's or Punch-Out!!'s, no – these are games that nobody would have ever expected to see again. There's no mainstream appeal and the original fanbase isn't strong enough to support their existence, but they're all suddenly wising from their gwaves. It doesn't matter why this is happening, because it's awesome.

Just recently we've seen a complete re-imagining of A Boy and his Blob and the return of the Giana Sisters. Australia's very own Torus Games is bringing back Crystal Mines, Square Enix pulled Thexder out of their vault for another crack, Konami is currently beating Rocket Knight Adventures with the ugly stick for PSN/XBLA/PC. Hell, 1983's long-forgotten Digger has even seen a HD rebirth, and Taito went ahead with The Legend of Kage 2 on DS – a mere 23 years after the original. There are countless examples just from the past year or so.

So, it would seem just about anything has a chance these days. With that in mind, what other unexpected - out of nowhere - titles should our crazy futuristic world get the chance to experience? What could possibly be selected with such little effort in order to create one of those terrible, half-arsed list 'articles'? Read on!


Claymates
System: Super Nintendo
Publisher: Interplay
Revival best suited to: Wii

Interplay seems pretty keen on bringing back a number of their franchises, and with a new Clay Fighter game currently in development, it only makes sense to give Claymates another go. It only makes sense, it won't make breakfast. Claymates was a really enjoyable platformer that let players transform the main protagonist (a ball of clay) into a number of different animals to traverse each level. The mouse was powered by Blaze Processing (a parody of Blast Processing) which let him zip around with incredible speed. The Wii is at least 14% more powerful than the SNES, so just think of what they could do now!

Really though, Claymates would need a lot of loving care put into it, much like how WayForward treated A Boy and his Blob. This needs to remain constrained to the world of 2D, and proper claymation graphics are a must. So is breakfast, keep that in mind.



Mole Mania
System: Game Boy
Publisher: Nintendo
Revival best suited to: DS

Mole Mania - produced by Shigeru Miyamoto - was released fairly late in the Game Boy's life, but not late enough to take advantage of the whole Pokémon Blue/Red craze. As such, it sort of just faded into obscurity. Playing as Muddy Mole (creative surname), you have to guide a black ball to the exit of each screen. Muddy could push, pull and throw it at objects, but would often have to dig underground to find the right path. The holes he'd leave could cause problems when trying to move the ball above ground, so you'd have to be careful! An excellent little puzzle game that's a lot more fun than my flaccid explanation makes it seem.

The DS' dual screen setup is a perfect match for this. It's said that Miyamoto got the inspiration for Pikmin by rolling around in his garden. I'd say that's how Mole Mania came about, too. Somebody needs to get him back out there, maybe he'll remember this one. Mole Mania is so forgotten it didn't even get a mention in any of the Smash Bros. games. That's sad, considering everything is supposed to be in them. Everything ever made for anything.



Alley Cat
System: PC / Atari 800XL
Publisher: The Learning Company
Revival best suited to: DSiWare, WiiWare, iPhone etc.

You know what was great about Alley Cat? Everything. Everything was great about Alley Cat. As a humble alley cat, you have to navigate a number of bizarre screens in order to reach your lady friend (large heart sprites would appear – this is how cats mate, I have just spoiled the whole game and life itself). People with serious mental problems would throw all sorts of stuff at you from their apartment windows, including telephones and shoes. Should you happen to make it inside a room, you might find yourself catching mice in a gigantic hunk of cheese, pushing birdcages off tables or eating fish while avoiding electric eels in a giant fish tank.

Truly an amazing... experience. To be honest, I'm not sure anyone has the rights to this IP anymore. It would seem the original publisher was snatched up by The Learning Company, who make edutainment games about gassy reading rabbits. Alley Cat taught me everything there is to know, The Learning Company, so just have a think about it. I've gone through so many pairs of shoes. No changes to the gameplay needed, just a simple remake with some new sprites. Chuck it on the download services and bam, $40 million profit on launch day.



Teddy Boy
System: Arcade / Master System
Publisher: SEGA
Revival best suited to: Wii

Okay, so SEGA is sitting on an absolute goldmine of ancient IPs in desperate need of a rebirth, but the likes of say, Alex Kidd or Wonderboy are too well known for this. Enter Teddy Boy. Simple, addictive, stupid; stages looped forever while you shot ninjas, snails, bugs and dragons that popped out of dice. Teddy Boy would then have to pick up their bodies, which turn into little bouncy balls. Standing around in one spot for too long would cause the platform to vanish under your feet, but it didn't matter if you fell since the level would just keep repeating. Of course, you'd just be wasting precious time.

Teddy Boy also had a nightmare-ish tune that never let up. It was so jolly, I heard a rumour someone committed suicide from it. I just made that up, but it's true. This is one game that should come back with hilarious style. Make it a third person shooter. Have Teddy Boy all grown up, an angsty, muscle-bound bearded dude that's still wearing his little cap (to try and hide his bald head) and bright blue happy pants. Keep the absurd premise of ninjas bursting forth from dice, make everything else seem deadly serious. SEGA should be up to this. Oh, and it'll need a death metal remix.



Wild Guns
System: Super Nintendo
Publisher: Natsume
Revival best suited to: Wii

Put down the Harvest Moon, Natsume. Please, for the love of God, give that series a bit of a rest. How about Wild Guns? Yeah! It's just like Harvest Moon. They're both video games. Mixing a wild west setting with steampunk elements, the game was basically a rail shooter, but from a third person perspective. Players would have to control the on-screen cross-hair and their character at the same time. Oooh, how tricky. The action never let up, and it was filled with some truly awe-inspiring boss fights.

Wild Guns suffered a massive Australian delay (almost three years), and nobody gave a shit about the SNES by the time it hit our shores. But even then, it would seem nobody took any notice of it anywhere else, either. For shame. The Wii is home to some excellent rail shooters already, so why not add to the pile with a new Wild Guns? If it helps with sales, I guess it could be called Harvest Moon: Wild Guns. Robotic cows to shoot, fill buckets with their oil, sell it at the market. Get married, have a kid, settle down. All while shooting goons.